Here's Rodent Report again! Today, we'll try to not have so many weeping rodents, both broadcasters and listeners laughing their heads off at our forgetfulness. We are still going to try to have you laugh your heads off, but not in such a sad way for us little reporters. Well, now, it's time for.....
Rodent Report
Cheezer- Welcome back! The Mousetallica concert was a hit, so I'm feelin' good! We are NOT going to mess things up this time! It'll be great! This is going to be the best Christmas pageant ev-
Stage Crew- Best VOLUME ever!!!!!
Cheezer- Oops. Well, you get my point. Now, to Ears, with Nation Rodentia News. Your turn at the mic, Ears.
Ears- Gooooood evvvvvvvvvvvening! Here's Ears, bringing you the news! Today's story is how to address Mayor Oooter when he's eaten too much chocolate....this does not sound right. This is to be for volume 4's Ask Alfred! Wait, did I give something away? If I did, ignore me as I fly to the trees and fight the birds for my newsflash. *Uses ears to fly into trees* *Snatches paper from robin* *Listens to birds complain and flies down*
Now, here we are. It says, "Guinea Pig rescued from tall building by a quesadilla."
Mr. Lynn Guinea Pig was rescued yesterday by his wife's cooking. He was repairing the roof of their apartment building and slipped. While he was hanging on and too scared to say a word, his wife threw up a chicken quesadilla and he screamed from the burning, since it was fresh from the oven. Helicopters heard the ear-piercing scream and took the poor guinea pig to safety. In his honor for surviving the terrifying height, a party was thrown shortly afterwards, serving none other than his wife's chicken quesidilla. Sadly, Mr. Lynn did not attend the party, for he was in his first of a long line of therapy sessions. Back to Cheezer.
Cheezer- You know you can catch a remake of that on the popular rodent show 'Rodent 911'? Well, now I would like to have Nibbler the rabbit give us a book review on a new popular book by Rosa. Your turn, Nibbler.
Nibbler- Good day. I and my sweetie, Nibblet, run the Rodentia bookstore and library, which is half bookstore, half library. No wonder we have to run it together. Well, I just read the new book by Rosa De Guinea, which has been out for only 1 month and has already won the Newsnickers award. I'd like to interview Mrs. De Rosa, since all rodents who read this book will be taken by its plot of a young guinea pig's friendship with a young anteater. Can you guess which book it is?
Nibblet: Huckleberry Flinch.
Nibbler- You're right, Nibblet. It's Huckleberry Flinch by Rosa De Guinea. She also wrote the bestsellers Tom Cheezer and Ears of Green Gables. She also wrote the book A Guinea Pig's Guide to the World Around You: Groundhogs, Traffic, and Rubber Bands. Now it's time for Rosa's interview.
Rosa- Good afternoon. I'm Rosa, writer of Huckleberry Flinch. When I saw guinea pigs who were afraid of the color yellow become such good friends with anteaters, I got inspired. Yet some brave, strong rodentians don't see how perfect anteaters and their majestic 'meep' are. This book tells you that the names can change when it comes to the true meaning of friendship. Back to Cheezer.
Cheezer- Beautiful. Rosa has really got herself a talent to be proud of. Wait, I sound mature! This can't be! I'm supposed to sound stupid! As I get my act together, here's Pellet with the night's entertainment. Now to Pellet.
Pellet- We'd like to say that Goldenham Park is hosting a Cheezer concert and Maustail Stadium is playing Snicker's and Putt's Ye Olde Country Bande. Movies at 7:30 P.M. at Mouse Movie theatre are as follows:
Theatre one: Cheeks
Theatre two: Harry Acorn and the Chamber of Cheese
Theatre three: Mean Squirrels
Theatre four: Mice Age
Theatre five: Ratso Horror Picture Show
Theatre six: Cheese Kong
Auditions for The Phantom of the Rodent House are still going on. Apply while you still can! And The Hamster Theatre still needs a ValMaus for its production of Les Mice. Oh, and some rabbits are needed for Ze Stinke Cheese Theatre's showing of Hare.
Cheezer- Very nice. I was in Cheese Kong. One of the screaming pedestrians. Well, it's time for our special guest, Screaming Mimi with Deep in Destiny. It shows your fortune for today! Now to Mimi.
Mimi- Ah!!!!!! It is Screaming Mimi, vith today's fortune. Ah, and vehold! Now, to my secret stash ov secrets. Todays fortune: "Ven you grow a foot, vhy don't you ave three veet now? All you do ish get tollar." Zat vas today's fortune.
Cheezer- 'kay, that was weird. And cut out the gypsie accent.
Mimi- Sorry.
Cheezer- Now on to Pat with sports. On t-
Ears- FLASH! FLASH! NEWSFLASH!!!!!!! Yeah, there's a newsflash. Here at Rodent Report, I am arguing with the camera crew! They point out our idiotic mistakes and make us look like idiots! I now start a rebellion! Who is with me???? WHO IS WITH ME?????!!!!!!!!!
Camera/stage crew- Shut up, Ears! We got a job to do!
Ears- Oh, yeah? Well, I got something for you!!!!!*Punches the camera lens and breaks it*
Camera- Beep.
PLEASE STAND BY
Cheezer- *straightens screen* Well, now for the rest of the episode, we will be in black and white, since this is the only camera left at the second hand shop. Lucky radio listeners, you don't have to worry about this. Well, as I was saying, on to Pat with sports.
Pat- Okay, so the Stink Skunks are still in the Major Rodentia Soccer League, but after a grueling match with the Couraged Guinea Pigs, they have been sent to the bottom of the league. Can they climb their way back up? Will they lose their hopes and dreams? Will the Rodentia Rabbit Feet ever play again? Stay tuned to find out!
Cheezer- Nice one, Pat. Now, Snickers the Anteater and Co. is a proud sponsor of the Major Rodentia Soccer League. So an announcment from Snickers the Anteater is necessary.
Snickers- Meep meep meep, meep meep, meep.
Cheezer- Nice. Well, it's time for this show to end, which we all hate. Well, until next time, this is Cheezer, signing off.
*jazzy ending music*
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